Re: Being excellent to one another

[Christopher Allan Webber <cwebber@dustycloud.org>]

Ludovic Courtès writes:

> Hi there,
>
> Gentlefolks, please everyone calm down.  Being rude or insulting to
> fellow hackers is not acceptable on the project’s communication
> channels, period.  When you feel unable to express your disagreement in
> a constructive and respectful manner, please delay your reply until you
> can do that.

[...]

> Besides, while I appreciate it when native English speakers provide
> corrections and guidance, I think we as a project must tolerate English
> mistakes in our communication.  The reason for this is very simple: most
> contributors are not native English speakers.  English is our
> communication medium; it shouldn’t be a hindrance to the inclusion of
> contributors who do not master it.

About English though, I do agree with ng0 about they/them... as a
default pronoun, especially when you don't know.  It's good English,
with longstanding history:

  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

The important thing is to not assume someone's preferred pronouns
without knowing them.  Singular they isn't your only option; I also
happen to like Spivak pronouns:

  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spivak_pronoun

... which have the delightful connection to hacker culture in their
popularity with Lambdamoo, an oldschool MUD. :)  Singular they (or even
spivak) is also acceptable as a pronoun if someone chooses that.

Of course it's possible to make mistakes, but it *is* important to try
not to misgender people... both by not making assumptions, and
especially when using the right pronouns once you do know.  I have both
seen people break down into tears and also walk away from communities
from being misgendered.  That's an important sign of respect towards the
person...  and it doesn't cost you anything to do it.

Be excellent to each other indeed... and here's one critical way to do
it.