On Wed, Mar 30, 2016 at 01:02:15PM +0200, Tobias Geerinckx-Rice wrote:

There is nothing in the current coc which I particularly disagree with - 
all the examples of unacceptable conduct I personally consider unacceptable
in all walks of life.  
     
     Unfortunately, ???be excellent to each other??? is not a CoC, and it's
     often an excuse not to have one.

I can think of two much  better "excuses" :


The first is:

What hurts me when somebody shoves  a "code-of-conduct" in my face, is the veiled 
suggestion that lies behind it.  Viz:  "You might be a person who habitually uses
sexually explicit language, insults people, harrasses others,  assaults people, 
... murders them ..."

Of course, on a literal level this suggestion is correct, for a person who has never
met me, for all they know I might be a person who does those things.  But why 
accuse a person of those things on the first introduction?

The second is:

By having an explicit coc, the explicit message is "Examples of unacceptable 
behavior by participants include ..." The implicit message which is a logical 
consequence is: "... and we anticipate or have already experienced such 
behaviour by participants."


When I invite someone to my home for coffee, I do have a "code of conduct"  I 
expect my guests to be resonably polite, not to insult me, not to vandalise my 
home, fart in my face and lots of other things.  But I this "code of conduct" is
implicit.  I don't write it down.  I don't ask my guests to agree to it before 
they enter my home - if I did I would not be suprised if the very suggestion 
would cause them to be extremely offended.   I would not blame them if they 
excused themselves and departed without delay.  Likewise I think these "codes of
conduct" in community projects do not have the effect of welcoming people.  They
have the opposite effect.  


So lets HAVE a code of conduct.  But let's not have a written one.  Let's be open
and inviting.  If somebody does come in and start harassing/insulting/sexually 
assaulting/ people (which I think unlikely) we'll uninvite them.

J'



     

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