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Failure to apply it will result in the confiscation of your machine for the purpose of making it usable for continuous integration. Happy April Fools ----- So you want to package a [ ] C [ ] C++ [ ] C# [ ] Common Lisp [ ] Emacs Lisp [ ] Fortran [ ] Guile [ ] Haskell [ ] Java [ ] Javascript [ ] Julia [ ] Nim [ ] OCaml [ ] Python [ ] R [ ] Rust [ ] V [ ] Zig [ ] ________ application/library/________. It won't be added to Guix. Here's why it won't. You appear to believe that [ ] linter warnings can easily be ignored [ ] `make check' does not need to succeed [ ] nobody will ever want to build your package on [ ] x86_64 [ ] i686 [ ] aarch64 [ ] armhf [ ] mips____ [ ] powerpc____ [ ] riscv__ [ ] ______-mingw32 [ ] the Hurd [ ] commit hashes make for good version numbers [ ] hard-coding the commit field is a good idea [ ] using trivial-build system is a good idea [ ] we hard-code [ ] invocations of command line tools [ ] shared libraries [ ] _________ for fun [ ] updating ______ to add your package does not cause a world rebuild [ ] committers have nothing better to do than trailing a branch that receives _____ commits per day. Sadly your patch has/lacks [ ] copyright headers [ ] changes in other parts of the file [ ] indentation [ ] speling misstakes [ ] new-style inputs [ ] propagated inputs [ ] a useful synopsis [ ] a meaningful description [ ] a valid home-page [ ] correct licensing information [ ] significant improvements over the three other patches adding this   package, which themselves are stuck in review hell The following technophilosophical objections also apply: [ ] the GNU FSDG prohibit _____________________________ [ ] your package bundles a meaningless copy of [ ] ffmpeg [ ] v8 [ ] font-awesome [ ] bundler [ ] rustc [ ] ________ [ ] your package bootstraps itself using a sparse autoencoder trained on /dev/urandom [ ] your package is not reproducible thanks to [ ] embedded timestamps [ ] CPU feature detection during configure/compile time [ ] a flaky test suite [ ] an evil hack to call rand() inside a constexpr context [ ] Guix should not have to carry every fork of suckmore tools In conclusion, this is what I think of you: [ ] Your patch looks good, but I'm not going to push it. [ ] Your patch would need some work, and I'm not going to invest that time on your behalf. [ ] Your patch is bad and you should feel bad for submitting it. [ ] Maintaining this package in your own channel is an adequate punishment for writing it.