Re: [PATCH] Quick-start guide

[John Darrington <john@darrington.wattle.id.au>]

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On Sat, Jun 04, 2016 at 01:00:17PM -0700, yoosty@gmail.com wrote:
     Howdy!
     
     This is my first submission, please be gentle ;)
     
     Input is definitely welcome.


     diff --git a/doc/contributing.texi b/doc/contributing.texi
     index 208c6af..46c652f 100644
     --- a/doc/contributing.texi
     +++ b/doc/contributing.texi
     @@ -18,6 +18,7 @@ the @file{CODE-OF-CONDUCT} file in the source tree.
      @menu
      * Building from Git::           The latest and greatest.
      * Running Guix Before It Is Installed::  Hacker tricks.
     +* Quick Setup::                 The quick and easy tools
      * The Perfect Setup::           The right tools.
      * Coding Style::                Hygiene of the contributor.
      * Submitting Patches::          Share your work.
     @@ -153,6 +154,75 @@ the @file{/root/.config/guix/latest} symlink to point
     to
      @command{guix} as your user does.}
     
     
     +@node Quick Setup
     +@section Quick Setup
     +
     +So you just want the quick-and-dirty guide? Assuming you have some
     familiarity
     +with GNU/Linux systems in general and have installed one several times
     before
     +you can probably get started with a few notes while citing
     +@pxref{GNU Distribution} as necessary. As this is a quick-setup guide
     we'll use
     +some example defaults.
     +The general idea is that you will:

What is the purpose of the above paragraph?  It does not convey any information
to the reader.  Whilst  I think it is good to put the reader at ease, this is 
overdoing it.  Further, it is vague and overly conditional ("Assuming you have ...
you can probably ...") which will make the reader feel unsure of himself.  
I would replace these three sentances by something short and to the point such 
as "Setting up Guix involves the following steps:"

     +@itemize
     +@item @uref{https://gnu.org/software/guix/download/, Download} the USB
     installer
     +@item Transfer the image to a USB stick (@pxref{USB Stick Installation})
     +using dd
     +@item Boot the USB stick
     +@item Configure @pxref{Preparing for Installation,Networking}
     +@item Set your @xref{Preparing for Installation,Disk Partitioning}
     +(using an msdos label instead of a gpt label might be easier at the moment)
     +@item Mount your partitions (e.g. /mnt)
     +@item Run (again, e.g. /mnt) @command{herd start cow-store /mnt}
     +@item Create a system configuration file using
     +@xref{Proceeding with the Installation} and
     +@xref{Using the Configuration System} as guides. It is suggested to start
     +with the bare-bones template as you can easily re-configure your system
     +once it is up.
     +@item Using /mnt/root/guix_configs/config00.scm as the example config file
     +and /mnt as the example install mount point, run
     +@command{guix system init /mnt/root/guix_configs/config00.scm /mnt}
     +@item Cross your fingers and grab a beer
     +@item If you're using reasonably new hardware and a bare-bones config

What do you mean by "bare-bones config" and what if the reader is not using one?
or not using new hardware?

     +then guix should be done before your beverage and you can run

Else where you have written "Guix" rather than "guix".

     +@command{reboot}
     +@end itemize
     +

     +Now you should be ready to rock! 

I recommend that you avoid cliches like this.  Readers for whom English is a 
second language, may not be familiar with such expressions. It might confuse 
them.  Similarly, with "cross your fingers and grab a beer".  Instead, be 
specific and say something like: "Installation will now proceed.  It will take
several minutes. If you are using older hardware, then it may take somewhat 
longer".  And importantly, say what the user should see after the process has 
completed.

     + Don't forget to set your user passwords.

How should the reader do that?
     +
     +Of course, you're not here just to have a working system are you, you want

Punctuation.  Should read: "... are you?  You want..."

     +to dive in to the source, right? Let's take a quick look at that as well.

Again, expressions like "to dive in" might confuse some readers.

     +This guide assumes that you have at least perused @pxref{Building from
     Git}.

     +First you might want to head to
     +@uref{http://git.savannah.gnu.org/cgit/guix.git, the Guix Git page} and
     browse
     +around. We're going to assume that you utilized a bare-bones config as per
     the
Who is "we" ?  Again, what if he didn't use a "bare-bones config"?

     +quick install guide above. In this short example you will be shown simply
     +how to change the release version of Guix (not something you will likely do
     +but an easy and fun example).
     +
     +@itemize
     +@item Install git in to your user's profile: @command{guix package
     --install git}
     +@item Create a directory for your git checkout (e.g. @command{mkdir
     ~/git_repos})
     +@item Clone the Guix repository:
     +@command{cd ~/git_repos/; git clone git://git.sv.gnu.org/guix.git; cd guix}
     +@item To make the simple version change:
     +@code{AC_INIT([GNU Guix], [0.10.0], [bug-guix@@gnu.org], [guix],}
     +to
     +@code{AC_INIT([GNU Guix], [0.10.42], [bug-guix@@gnu.org], [guix],}
     +@item Check your change with: @command{git diff configure.ac}
     +@item Let Guix set up your Guix build
     +environment:@command{guix environment guix}
     +@item Build Guix:
     +@command{./bootstrap ; ./configure --localstatedir=/var ; make}
     +@item Run the daemon in a pre-installation environment:
     +@command{sudo ./pre-inst-env guix-daemon --build-users-group=guixbuild}
     +@item Switch to a new terminal
     +@item Check the pre-installation environement daemon's version:
     +@command{./git_repos/guix/pre-inst-env guix --version}

     +@item Your version output should be updated!
This sentance is not a part of the procedure.  It should appear outside of the
@itemize block

     +@end itemize
     +
     +
      @node The Perfect Setup
      @section The Perfect Setup
     
     
     -- 
     
        .:Justin:.

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