Re: i know -- let's play bridge!

[tb@becket.net (Thomas Bushnell, BSG)]

Tom Lord <lord@regexps.com> writes:

> 	which Tom Lord claims to prefer
> 
> So sorry --- entirely sarcasm.

But this is the problem!  I belabor, perhaps, unnecessarily:

1: You post a bizzare message, without context or relevance,

2: You decline to say what it means, in any way,

3: You then say "oh, I was just kidding".

The "oh, I was just kidding" defense is itself cheating.  It's what
people say after they say the most offensive things.  Sometimes it's
true, and honest, but even then, it's not just "sarcasm".  One wonders
if the "I was just kidding" would have showed up if the perpetrator
had not been called on it.

Now, bridge is a relatively trivial thing (unless you're livelihood is
connected with the sport).  But this is not about whether Tom thinks
cheating at bridge is okay.

Indeed, Tom's later response, that "Tom Lord" should also be
understood as a variable, pretends to be a joshing tone, a lively
banter, when in fact, it's a deceptive and, well, I think malicious
attempt to discourage us from looking at the facts.  Having been,
essentialy, told off--I basically said "Tom, you're lying to us when
you pretend to be part of our community"--Tom replies "If you mean
'Tom' to be a variable, then Yes!"  But that, of course, removes the
content.  It pretends that he's "going along with us", when in fact,
he's just being destructive.

Now we can see this pattern in many ways--those of us who have known
Tom for, oh, sixteen years, have perhaps seen the pattern more
commonly than we care to repeat.  I let people fill in the details
with their own experiences.  I describe the pattern *not* because I
want to describe a pattern in the abstract, without reference to
anything, but rather, because I want to name a malicious entity in our
midst--one who simply refuses to "play nice" and to get along
pleasantly with the other kids in the sandbox.

Now, Tom could simply decide to play nice.  He doesn't need to give
any retractions, any auto-da-fe's, any claims to behave nicer in the
future.  Such would, really, not be trusted, I think.  But he can
decide to start actually playing nice.  I hold out the hope.

Indeed, I held out the hope, and periodically, I send a friendly
message to Tom in the hopes that he will play nice.  But alas, he
doesn't!  Everything is cryptic, bizarre, half-stated and mostly
unstated.  

Tom, are you going to play friendly?  Please try.  The coy routine is
tired, sad, boring.  It's not really very clever to pretend to be a
Man-O-Mystery.  It's not that clever to play tricks on other
people--to cheat--only so that you can have that smug and self-assured
confidence that you know what the "real truth" is--though, of course,
the only "real truth" is that you're cheating.

Thomas


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