If we have an option, then adding a command that binds that option to
one value or the other is very simple. So I'm puzzled why you don't
see this as a step in the right direction. Can you point me to what
I'm missing here?

There are two features of tags-search that I would like to see retained in an xref shape. The first is the "incremental" bit, that matches are displayed directly when found (but also that it respects the current point position -- if I move the point the the end of a buffer, the rest of that buffer is skipped, etc.) The second is the be able to do the search without the xref UI.

The patch only address the second case, if I understand correctly.

-- Anders