user-mail-address adds from, not replace

[MattR <rosing@peakNOSPAMfive.com>]

Hi,

I'm moving from emacs 20.7.1 with VM to 21.3.1 with the corresponding 
VM. On the older system I set mail-default-reply-to and 
user-mail-address to my desired email address, send mail from vm, and 
the mail looks like it's coming from my isp. On the newer emacs (stock 
from suse 9.1) it doesn't work.  I looked and the headers on the older 
version have, at the end

   From: <rosing@myisp.com>
   To: rosing@myisp.com
   Subject: from 2.20
   Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 21:47:43 -0600

and the headers on the new version have

   User-Agent: nail 10.6 11/15/03
   MIME-Version: 1.0
   Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
   Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
   From: rosing@quack.homenet (Matt)

   From: Matt <rosing@myisp.com>
   MIME-Version: 1.0
   Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
   Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
   Message-ID: <16678.48037.216231.227197@quack.homenet>
   Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 21:04:05 -0600
   To: rosing@myisp.com
   Subject: default headers
   X-Mailer: VM 7.18 under Emacs 21.3.1
   Reply-To: rosing@myisp.com

It looks like the new version added the results from  user-mail-address 
but put it after the default for my machine (quack.homenet). Rmail does 
the same thing. My isp reads the first from line and rejects the mail as 
spam.  What do I do?

thanks,

Matt